The Latest and Greatest

I laugh to myself when I call up memories and see how my situations could become parodies. It's harsh, it's hard, I've had my nose ground into to pavement up and down the boulevard. We jive with reality, brave fatality, and remind ourselves that we've got more to look for than the latest and greatest escape. Too bad this was't caught on tape. I'm sick of neutrality in it's totality -- and did you ever think of livin' an honest life? No crack, no horse, no whores of course; I see you breakin' out the e -- is it really that tough to just be?

The SB

I spent my week doing things which for the most part have no effect on anyone.

I wrote my comings and goings on a little, yellow with white polka-dots, dry-erase board that only two other people bothered with. One was a kind acquaintance leaving me notice that the hot water in our building was going to be out for two more days and the other an acquaintance who described me as fuzzy, with no explanation. I shave. I do.

I built my resume, attempted to file my taxes, put together a portfolio showcasing my marketing capabilities, and watched copious amounts of anime and a few movies. I am somewhat embarrassed to admit to watching two 12-episode (~30 min) shows, one 21-episode show, and all the Miyazaki I could handle (which is a lot). Yes, I am an anime fan. I should not be embarrassed by that, but I somewhat am -- it's something my friends poke fun at me for, though I'm not sure why... I also watched Baumbach's 'Kicking and Screaming' and Gondry's 'Be Kind, Rewind'. I enjoyed both, Baumbach's scripting kept me vastly entertained while Gondry's effects and imagination piqued curiosity as usual.

I also went through my wardrobe in preparation for spring, and I must say, I am parting with a few things. I am satisfied with that.

Outcry

We have anthems. like "Coffee is our lifeblood." or "Love is forever, love is free." And we feel we can only be ruled through autonomy, no sense of the brotherhood that is a republican democracy. We run on processed sugars, no calories, slowed maladies, and an ever-absorbing self-importance leaving us noses up, fists 'round our wads, name-callin' -- no respect -- where's the turn around? I don't see it yet.

Remembering What's What

Tonight I was able to revitalize something that had sunk deep within myself. Vanished. I knew something was amiss in my attitude, but did not seek out the cause. I prayed constantly for the answer to be revealed, selfishly, I prayed. I was not pursuing the answer of those prayers, merely saying them – even the right words are useless if they are not acted upon.

My problem was this: during the past few weeks, I had lost sight of what it means to look at other people as my fellows, as my kin. I only saw their quantifiable traits: intelligence, wit, beauty, poise, tact, rudeness, rashness, guile, foolishness, ignorance, and etcetera. I tried to put people on “levels” based on where their pros and cons averaged out. I unwittingly dehumanized everyone in this way.

There are no “levels” of people. We are all born in sin. We will all die. We have life to live, together.

I had misplaced the fact that God is in my brothers and sisters. God, the unquantifiable. God, my God. God, my Father. God, the Father of my brothers and sisters.

I was reminded of Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

I was not treating my fellow humans as if they bore the face of God. I have the love of God in me; my brothers and sisters have the love of God in them. I was not allowing this reality to phase me.

To look at my fellows like this, as having the presence of God in them, renews my respect, my love, for them. Thank you my dear, dear friend for helping me through this. Thank you my God for warming my heart.

I am still analytical; I will be until I die – thank you Daddy, thank you Western culture. But, I recognize what I have done. From here, in the love of God, I can love better.

That's a Rap

Hey, young world, I'm going to sleep. It's not about pleasure, it's what I've got to do to keep my integrity. You've not seen the last, or the best of me. When the sun rises tomorrow, I'll have beaten it to the sky -- I'm not trying to project any manifest destiny -- I'm waking up faster than Fry.